I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
