So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
