Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
