OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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