2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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