"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
