Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
