I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
