Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
