dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize