Me. At least after what I've been through.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
