East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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