i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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