that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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