worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
