I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
