This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
