apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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