Buhtt sex?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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