Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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