Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize