I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
