wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
