Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize