Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
