I just saw a hot homeless man
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we're so committed to being not committed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
