There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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