idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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