There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize