You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
