Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
