HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
