so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize