Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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