Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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