If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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