He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
