I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
