I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
