This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I look better un-naked...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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