Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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