Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
