Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
