Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
