I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
