the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
