My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
