I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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