so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
