i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
