i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
