i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
