Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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