I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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