So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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