Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
