when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
