I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
