You really coming over, don't trick.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
