I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
