I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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